Want a fast ticket out of misery?

If you are feeling miserable, then read on. If you don’t feel miserable, read on.

Humanity needs a kinder perspective towards misery, and I promised not to say ‘think positive’. That’s the first and last time, I’ll say it. Many people are afraid to be miserable, glum, melancholy, fed up etc.

Being miserable doesn’t fit with the Zeitgeist of our consumerist society. We must be happy and demonstrate to others that we are doing well in life. We must have lots of goals and continually push yourself and share your filtered pictures of happiness on social media.

We fear judgement, pity and worst still, being ostracised. We swallow our tears and ignore the gnarling anxiety in our belly, and face the world claiming to be okay. We buy products and promises of instant happiness to be continually disappointed. And in truth, you just want to smash your face in with a hammer or, (for those less inclined for drama)  hide under a duvet, sup wine and scroll through pointless dribble online. 

I’ve experienced misery, and despite it being the most horrendous feeling, it’s a place of transformation. It’s fertile. Don’t fight it. Soften into it. It’s the only way out. Fast exits from misery without going inside and tidying up the interior caverns of your skull often becomes costly and tiresome and lead to more misery.  The last thing you want to do is embrace this feeling, sounds like a terrible suggestion when everything is a bit shit, or total shit, depending on how shit you feel. But its a sensible one.

Misery chased me for decades, and I kept hiding or grabbing fast exits hoping to escape this dark inner landscape. I wanted to change in my life and did nothing hoping that feedback from my soul would go away. Until one-day misery grabbed me by the throat and forced me to readdress my life.  The wailings of my soul became impossible to ignore, and I held my breath and took a massive leap of faith into the unknown. Misery forced me to take action to make changes.  All I can say is, there is a way out of misery when you trust that. It gets easier, yeah that word acceptance.

I’ve been fortunate to spend my working life with people struggling with mother earth’s tough love. I’m continually amazed at what people can face when they are ready to address their stuff.

I once had a general loathing towards a society which indeed was a projection of my own misery. That misery as much I stuffed it down and hid it, it wasn’t going anywhere. Misery took a grip of me and hijacked me when I was stuck in traffic, or surrounded by arseholes,  the rest of the story is fingers, expletives and a bucketful of shame.

Forgot about settings goals or beating yourself up. Maybe you think your rubbish, or not good enough, that’s okay, but who else agrees? Perhaps your ungrateful kids, bored partner, egotistical boss, or maybe on you think this, either way,  Is it true?  We both know it isn’t. Maybe you act like a twit or selfish at times. Being a twit is okay, alongside being miserable. We all are twits, from time to time.


Celebrate and honour humanity! 

Writing about your misery or gentle torrents of dark gloom is fantastic. Take a look at Julie Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way.

When you feel miserable, you feel stuck and incapable of you doing anything. Remember, trust things always change. Sometimes for the better, other times not so, but either way, we can’t resist it.

When you flow and relax into those glorious swamplands of the soul, you learn a new level of resilience and courage. Misery is fertile, so be mindful that whatever you plant and prune in the lush grounds of your mind, will yield at some point into the outer world, like a plant.

There is an old saying, you get what you focus on… so focus on being in flow with life,  learn from nature its a blessed teacher.

How do trees deal with the wind?  they don’t fight it.

I’ll keep this sweet.

 Be kind to yourself it will be okay in the end, and if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.

Big love

Alexia x


Acceptance is a process and a destination. this might be useful to watch.


Do you want more personal power?  misused personal power can cause misery.


  1. Talk about synchronicity! This post is something I’ve been thinking about/dealing with lately. I’m glad to read that I’m on the right path, even if it’s one that’s a struggle to get through.


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