How to fuck up your relationships​

Don’t take things personally

I believe we have greater control with respect to how our lives unravel than we give ourselves credit. Have you ever considered your experience of reality is self created?

Like an inner dream, its one hell of a thought. 

Imagine for a moment how you think about life, projects and shapes how you engage in life, and all the characters in your life, are part of your dream?

We really do get what we expect.

Yet, at the same time, nothing others do, is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality their own dream.

When you really feel this notion, it enables you to see that the opinions and actions of others are nothing to do with you, realising this reduces a lot of suffering for yourself and others.

Our expectations cause us big problems

The biggest issues I’ve encountered in relationships are down to my expectations and the other person’s expectations, It works both ways of course.

We have relationships with others and unconsciously draw up a contract with the other person, but we don’t tell them about the contract and the rules, and then we get pissed off when they don’t live up to our rules.

We’re often unaware that we have an unconscious rules dominating our experience to make it even more chaotically painful. the Key point (AWARENESS)

An unconscious rule might be, “you must text me every morning if you love me”if the other person is not aware of the rule they are likely to disappoint you. It’s almost funny when you think about.

We unconsciously make up rules without informing the other person of the contractual rules they’ve entered, and then get upset or feel rejected when they fail to perform to the rules.

Many people enter relationships expecting not to be liked or loved and focus their attention to search for evidence to back up their expectation, to the exclusion of other behaviours displayed, which is often contrary to what we expect.

What is your biggest fear?

Consider this fear and the world around you are the stage, and all the characters and repeating dramas in your life are playing out your fear(s), your dream is being projecting onto the biggest cinema screen known to man, which is life itself.

it’s a fascinating thought, isn’t it?

How are you screwing yourself and blaming others for your mishaps?

Awareness alongside a curious scrutiny of one’s beliefs, assumptions and beliefs, is an empowering way to navigate this wild adventure with a greater sense of clarity and self-trust.

Change the ride, change the rules. When you feel this in your heart…… it’s almost funny!

Cause yourself some anarchy, stir yourself up…. Be fearless step into your soul and become your modern warrior, with the wisdom of the ancient shamans on your heart.

if you’re going to MAKE YOUR OWN RULES- them chose them wisely and consider the impact of these rules with respect to your ecology. (The systems we live within)

Ask yourself

Will this expectation work for me?

How might it be an issue?

Oh, for fuck’s sake, THINK, in a way to that allows you to be who you truly are.

BIG love

Alexia Elliott

Jungian Inspired Hypnotherapist, Sacred Clown and Storyteller.

PS, pop me a like or share your thoughts, id love to hear from you!

My website 🙂